Pet Parents

I'm not certain how many of you pet parents who have no human children of their own have been told that your not an actual parent because you didn't carry your furrie baby in your womb, and birth them!

I've heard this and several variations of the same for a couple of decades now! The last time I was told this wasn't too long ago, and for the first time ever those harsh, hurtful words left a deep gaping hole in my soul! I didn't know that family is only thru blood! I've never quite understood that! I've always believed it's LOVE that drives us to care for another.  And that Only Love Matters!

Several of my Bachas are now with Bholenath! Today is my precious Dutchess's first death anniversary! My baby girl was born in front of me. I helped her mama Lassi give birth to 8 gorgeous puppies! And this little bundle of chocolate stole my heart from the word GO! I helped nurse and nurture her and her siblings from the moment they came into this world! What a blissful feeling it was! 

Soon after dutchu was born I knew she was going to be a part of my pack of three! I had no intentions of keeping any of the puppies for I knew it would not go down well with my family! But I couldn't help myself! I feel in love with this glorious brown ball of fur! She stole my heart with just one look! And from there on there was no turning back! As a matter of fact, My baby girl stole everyone's heart that she met! One couldn't ignore her! And I assure you she made certain that she wasn't ignored! She was So full of life, postive booming energy and filled with unconditional love! And she showered and graced whom ever she came across, with her divine gift of Love!

I knew from from a young age that I wouldn't be able to bear a child of my own, due to an autoimmune disease that I was diagnosed with. Almost every women wants and hopes and dreams of having children, and I was no different. Yet when I was dealt this hand, I didn't worry about it! I knew in my heart that if I was meant to have a child from my Mahadev would make it happen! He wouldn't leave me without knowing and experiencing the joy of motherhood! And he didn't! A few years after my diagonise two beautiful black labs came bouncing and barking into my life! And I've never been the same since! (In a postive way;) 

I assure you I felt the same joy, bliss, happiness, sense of responsibility and unconditional love for my fur balls, as any human parent would feel for their new born human baby. I went thru the motions of waking up in the middle of the night to feed them, clean them and love them just as a human parent would. I freaked out when they were sick, I hurt when they hurt! I spoke about them with pride! And when someone complimented me about my Bachas I beamed with joy and pride, just like a human parent would with their child! And my Pupss in return showered and graced me with their undivided affection and love! 

I will never know what it feels like to carry a child in my womb! So Should I, or others like me be oestrasied for that? Or be told that "We Cannine Parents" aren't Infact parents at all? I don't know the answers to these questions. What I do know is that I've been graced, and blessed to be the mother of ten glorious Pupss, and God Pet Mother to several more! Six of my Bachas have crossed over the rainbow bridge and are happy and joyous and pain free! 

All of them have taught me so much about life. About compassion, unconditional love and forgiveness and so much much more! Today I morn the loss of my baby girl Dutchess, just as any parent whose lost child would. I performed the last rites for all my Pupss in the same manner as one would for the human soul! My Dutchu was my muse, my guardian, my child and my best friend!  It was she who inspired me to start my own two home based business for Pupss, and humans alike! 

Those harsh words still resonate within me, I won't hide that. However I've learned well from my kids, so I will permit my heart and mind to feel those hateful words for awhile longer and then do just like my Pupss taught me..."Mama Nikki, If You Can't Eat it or Play with it, then Pee on it and walk away!"

       Blessed are those who have been touched by the grace and love of an animal! 

               I AM ONE OF THOSE LUCKY AND BLESSED SOULS!

And to all my Pupss and God Pupss who are no longer with me today,

                          R.I.P & BARK ON MY DARLINGS...BARK ON!

Divine

DIvine

When all around you see and feel pain...

When nothing makes sense

When no thoughts string together

When the tears no not why they shed

When no distraction diverts their flow

The time to turn inwards nears

The time to turn inwards comes at a price

A price you never could have imagined

You never loose the ones you love 

You never loose the ones who truly loves you

No shame 

No pride

No ego

Nuthin left to cover ones self with

Everything has started to come undone

Everything learnt has been unlearnt

The sadness is excruciating

But the bliss that follows, divine!

Through out the process they never left 

Stood strong, viglillant, and full of unconditional love

Never faltering even as the sadness overtook and consumed 

No Pride

No Shame

No Ego

Nothing left to cover

It's time......

Stand Strong, Vigillant, and full of conditional love

I Am!!!

Being born a woman in this life is my honor, privilege, & right. For my father deemed me strong enough to carry the cross. I will neither fall nor falter under the gaze of fear or contempt. I will not hide from injustice or crime. I will stand up. I will raise my head up high. I will run, walk, crawl. But I will never give in or up. I am Powerful, I am Strong, I am all that is Wonderful and Glorious. I Am a Woman Strong in the belief that I am here for a bigger reason. This is my truth. For I Am the Creation, the Child of SHIV SHAKTI!

Universal Consciousness

A day of mourning!  Black Saturday!  What does that mean?

Does it mean that one forgets after that day? That the issue at hand  is only worth remembering for one day?

Instead it being called a day of mourning or black Saturday shouldn't we rise above our egos, material world and step out of our comfort zone, outside of our own living rooms and make it a daily remembrance instead.  We live in an era of instant gratification. I feel it now; I want to react to it now; Now! Now! Now! And then the fever ends, and we  forget. We go back to our mundane existence where we are safe and not responsible for raising social, global and spiritual consciousness. When did we forget that we are all a part of this universe? Why do we only react and act (& sometime even that doesn't happen) when it happens to us or to someone who we care about. Otherwise, it’s just not our problem.

To break another’s spirit is so easy.  Easy enough that we don’t even realize that we do it. To a spirit, to the soul the physical/ sexual abuse is insignificant compared to the emotional, psychological and spiritual abuse. The physical body heals….but the soul resonates the sorrow it’s been exposed to for far too many lives. It’s something that is undesirable,unexplainable  (Yes even to one’s own self). How does one break down and process the feeling of someone’s physical, sexual, verbal, spiritual, and emotional assault on you? It’s almost impossible!

The fear and angry dissipates. What remains is loathe and disgust. Mostly at oneself. The perpetrators actions Deemen , Insult, Snatch away the very being of your existence, of your soul. And what remains are just memories of a life you had once imagined for yourself. And the best part is that the worst still lurks behind every corner. The Snide Remarks, The Snickering, The pity, The anger, The hate, The disgust, The pathetic looks, The downward glares, The Judgment, The Assumptions, The Rejection, The Contempt. And the victim is actually OK with, and understands it in a dysfunctional, delusional way! Because most times the victim feels, looks and regards themselves like that. The mirror isn't something that she/ he can ever look into the same way as before.  The mirror holds the souls true identity. Thru the mirror we see past our physical body, our reflection and look directly thru our eyes to the core of our Soul. Our Bare naked truth!

Whose truth?

The one suffering is suffering. They have to go thru what they have been put thru. They have no choice. They have been stripped naked.  But, what about the Perpetrator (s) and bystander (s)? And by bystanders I don’t mean the one (s) who are present at or around when the assault is happening. By bystanders I mean ME, YOU, and US!  ALL OF US! Standing by and doing nothing makes us all the perpetrator (s) and worse. To will fully allow or stand by and do nothing while a soul is being destroyed, is a crime against all of humanity. When, Why, How did we adopt an attitude of, “it doesn't matter to me or affect me, because it isn't happening to me”? Don’t we see the damage we are doing on so many levels? We are teaching our children that it’s ok to let someone suffer. We are teaching our children, our youth our future, that it’s ok to disrespect another soul. To look away. Not Care. That it’s ok not to stand up for the weak, for the ones who can’t and/ or don’t know how.

A Valid question arises here….What if the victim doesn't want help?

The victim always wants help. But doesn't know how to get it, ask for it, and reach out for it. The Reason?  Simple! You will be judged, you will be told that you did something to bring it upon yourselves, that it was your fault, and the best one……YOU DESERVE IT!

Today along with billions (I hope) in India and across the globe, I am saddened, disappointed and disgusted to my very being. Firstly at myself, and then at all of humanity.  It would be easy for me to say that this happens only in India. NO. This abuse, lack of respect and disregard on the most basic human level for another happens across our universe. In every county, in every nation. And it is brushed under the carpet. Or discussed fervently and passionately for a few days, weeks, months…and (that’s pushing it) and then lo n behold we forget. We move on in our existence as if nothing happened. We treat it like a social meeting, gathering. We are completely there in that moment, for that day, for that event. And then, just like that we forget. Until it happens to us, to the one we love. And then, it’s too late.

The time has come for Action, not Empty, Hollow Words. But Action! Lip service is easy, talk is cheap. It’s our Actions that Matter. It doesn't have to be a big thing. The smallest act is all that is needed.  Help one, just one single person. Be a source of inspiration to others. Set an example. Lead By Example. Not waiting, wanting something back in return. Do it without a motive, a hidden agenda. DO it with Nishkam Karma.” To action alone hast thou a right and never at all to its fruits; let not the fruits of action be thy motive; neither let there be in thee any attachment to inaction.” The Bhagavadgita

  Have Empathy not Sympathy. Treat another the way you would like to be treated. Let’s Respect and Honor what The Almighty has given us.  Let us Rise above our own fears and limitations. The time for our Evolution is on hand. Let’s not slip back into our safety nets. Let’s rise and raise Universal Consciousness. Let us Never Forget the horror inflicted on Women, children and men alike, every single minute of every single day across the Globe. Let us build up from our mistakes, from our failures, from our weakness. Turn our Negative into True, Pure, Positive, Empowering Energy and Life Force.

LETS US NEVER FORGET!

Illusion!!!

She says she loves him. More than anyone else could! So blessed he feels. The out pour of the pure, transparent and divine love that flows thru him is surreal. The smile refuses to leave his lips. He feels like he is finally home! Peace and love is all he feels, experiences and anticipates for his future.

How could he think or feel anything less than that omnipresent love he yearned for thru so many life times. He was blessed! He is saved!  And to add to his joy and mirth another gift awaited him! He was loved and embraced not by one but by two forms of SHAKTI!  He couldn't believe his blessings! With tears flowing he fell down on his knees. The sounds being emitted from his soul were those of pure, true relief!  To be with his mother and sister, what more could he ask for! This is what he had waited for!  This is what he was told would happen. When all doors shut it’s your Mother in all her forms that take care of you. Who else would know your soul so well?!!!

Could this be what salvation feels like?

With much hope, adulation, and devotion he moves towards them! They smile and beckon him.  He moves with the speed of light (running just seems too slow, too futile)! The power that overtakes him leaves him speechless!  His smile widens, his heart fills with celestial love. The tears haven’t stopped flowing. But none of that matters. Not anymore! His Mother awaits him!

Open arms, and unsaid words of divine, pure, blissful love and comfort beckon his soul!  He is finally home, in the lap of his Ma’s unconditional love!

Or is he?

His SHAKTI, his mother, his love in all her form and glory........ An Illusion???  Just an illusion! He mistook and misunderstood, yet again! This wasn't salvation, or unconditional, pure, immaculate, magnificent, heavenly love! He is dumbstruck, lost, saddened, disheartened, and disappointed. The flow of his ecstatic, elated and exuberant tears have been replaced by tears of blood, anguish, and that all so familiar feeling of melancholy.

This wasn't his home. This was just want he wanted to feel and experience. His eagerness and desperation for the pure divine, omnipresent love and light led him astray. He saw what wasn't there. His mother, his sister, his SHAKTI, they weren't who he thought they were.  They were just his ILLUSION!

This was (HIS) Maya! His mother, ADI SHAKTI would never entice or delude her child with false love, hope and grace.

It was just an (HIS) illusion, or was this his desperation?

I'll be seeing u..... soon!!!

The one truth I hold onto& believe is that when you’re in need God always sends his angles in some form or the other to help & supports us. One of the Angles sent to me was my Chachaji, Mr. Jagdish Kapoor.

My first memory of Chachaji is on my dad Tony Arun Kapoors funeral in 1992. He stood so tall, proud & handsome waiting it seemed, for me, in the hallway in front of the funeral parlour. As soon as I lay eyes on him I knew he had to be someone from my Dads family. The physical similarities between Chachaji & my dad were uncanny!!!!

From that first moment in time,& till date Chachaji has always been with, in some way, shape or form. My connection with him has always defied all logic, time & space. For me he was just not my grand Chachaji, he was my connection, my source, my guide to the spirit & spiritual world. He taught me that all that glitters is most definitely not gold! He showed me, & helped me see & understand the value of this human life. He had this amazing gentle & profound way in which he could take the most distressing situations & circumstances and turn them into blessings. He would just sit back smile, & in the calmest manner turn all my troubles into gifts from the divine!

To me Baba Jack was and will always be the most handsome, charismatic, charming, intelligent, loving, kind soul inside & out. I could sit beside him & listen to him talk 24/7. And with the same token I didn’t have to be around him physically to receive his Gyan & Wisdom. I just always knew when he wanted to tell or share something with me, & vice versa. We connected with each other, without the need of phones, letters, and messages. He would speak to me without speaking. He would comfort me without holding me. He would reassure without using words. All I needed to do was sit & close my eyes & meditate on him, and inevitable I would find peace.

Chachaji today is with his creator, and the rest of his soul family! He is in a place & plane where there is no pain, sorrow, or sadness! Just complete & eternal love, joy & peace! He has I know finally achieved MOKSHA!

I am saddened for myself, and for those who loved & cared for him. This is a very selfish emotion I know, because Chachaji knows not of any sadness or sorrow anymore!  He worked hard & long to arrive & be at the spiritual plane he is on now! So today I request all of you to please put your sadness, sorrow & grief aside & help celebrate his life, love, words, Gyan, kindness, generosity & Spirituality!

Chachaji, I’ll be seeing..... you soon!!!            Om Namoh Shiva!    Har Har Mahadev!

He is gone

You can shed tears that he is gone, Or you can smile because he lived, You can close your eyes and dream that he will come back, Or you can open your eyes and see all that he has left. Your heart can be empty because you can't see him Or you can be full of the love that you shared, You can turn your back on tomorrow and live yesterday, Or you can be happy for tomorrow because of yesterday. You can remember him and only that he is gone Or you can cherish his memory and let it live on, You can cry and close your mind be empty and turn your back, Or you can do what he would want: smile, open your eyes, love and go on. Adapted version by David Harkins

Purest Form of Love

What do you do when you have been given the truest & purest form of love? The divine gift we spend all our lives looking for? The unconditional love we strife & fight for?

This gift made its way into my life when I was a child. No, I didn’t know at that tender age what a special gift I was given. All I knew was that I felt complete and whole when I was around it. Nothing else seemed to matter. Whenever that feeling was around me it took me to another place. The peace & serenity I felt I couldn’t understand nor explain for that matter at that time or age.

It was in January of 1999 that it hit me first and has since never left.  That pure & true feeling assaulted me again.  It came bouncing & prancing into my life all the way from Chennai,! The 2 most adorable, beautiful, black pupss I had ever laid my eyes on! My angles, SHERSHAH & SULTANA had arrived!  My world changed forever on that day. My life had a new purpose, a new direction. I knew then that what I had experienced as a child whenever I was around animals WAS the purest form of love. And I had finally met a part of my pup & soul family!

From that day onwards my life was filled with LIFE! And I was never to be alone again. God filled my life with his beauty & grace in the form of my pupss. Never has a day gone by since, that I have walked into my home and not been greeted with anything but love, affection, sheer joy & happiness from them. Never have I known anyone to be soo happy to see me!  It never matters to them how long I’ve been gone. Time is of no essences. For this love affair is not bound by time. It’s a love that goes above and beyond all else. It’s timeless and priceless in every way.

Over the years my SHER & SUL have left their bodies & moved on to a far more wondrous loving place. My darlings, SAINT, ZULU BHIA, SHADOW & BLACKIE all came into my life & taught me so much. And I will forever carry their memories with me! R.I.P!

DUTCHESS, COUNT, & MAKHAN, along with soo many more continue to grace this life of mine.  TANGO BOY, PEPPER, SHAWARMA, KAMAKI GEORGE, FALAFEL, FACEBOOK, MISCHIEF and sooo sooo many more have humbled me with their love & affection in every realm of my life. Some of them briefly & some for longer periods of time. Each & every one of them is & will continue to remain a part of my very being.  Observing & living with them, one realizes how one should treat others. These amazing creatures just give, & give & give asking for so little in return. They look at you with wonder, amazement & undying unconditional love no matter what.

My kid’s are getting older & I’m prepared for life’s next step (I hope). I’ve lost a few to know what is to come. But…. It’s never easy nor do I think one can be fully prepared for the loss. They mean everything to me. I’m incomplete without them. Each and every one of my pupss are so unique, so different, so fantastic. Words fail me yet again. How do I express & articulate how much they mean to me? Those big beautiful soulful eyes I can never get out of my heart, mind &soul.

My COUNT is sick today, & I can’t even function knowing that I only have him & the rest of my pupss with me for a short amount of time in this life. We all know that life has to end. But today its hit me like a ton of bricks. This life is so precious, so short. And we live most of it fighting life & not loving & enjoying everything & everyone we are blessed to have in it. We forget that it’s the small things in life that matter at the end & are what is valuable to us. It’s always about the big picture for most of us. And the truth is that it’s not, it never has been. Spend some time with a pup in your life in you will know what true joy & pure love is about.

All that I am today, all that I will ever be in all my lives  has been & continues to be because of the powerful love I have been blessed with from all my angels, my pupss being right there in the fore front! I am a better and whole person today because of the love, and lessons I have received from my pup family.


 I bow my head in gratitude to the Almighty for all my blessings. Especially the ones which are in the form of my pupss!

I talk to him when I'm lonesome like; and I'm sure he understands.  When he looks at me so attentively, and gently licks my hands; then he rubs his nose on my tailored clothes, but I never say naught thereat.  For the good Lord knows I can buy more clothes, but never a friend like that.  ~W. Dayton Wedgefarth